Zealandia Free Press, nos. 1-8, 5 May-July 10, 1884
A 1681

[Page 1]
Cover of book

[Page 2]
Bookplate –
This book was presented to
The Mitchell Library Sydney
By Wm Welch, FRGS.,
Mosman, Oct. 1927

[Page 3]

[Page 4]
The Zealandia
Saturday evening May 10th at 7.30

Song – "Maids of Merry England" – Mr. Bridge
Recitation – "The Piper of Hamelin" – Mr. Moody
Song – "Mrs Brown & her Luggage" – Mr. Rae
Recitation – "Grandmother" – Mrs Flux
Reading – "Political Economy" – Mr. England
Song – "Allan Water" – Mrs Mathews
Song – "The ole’ Jawbone" Mr Welch
Song – "Jack’s Yarn" – Mr. Flux
Reading – "The Armada" – Mr. Butterworth
Song – "Tom Tough" – Mr. Fletcher
Recitation - "Jackdaw of Rheims" – Mrs. Welch
Song – "Wicked Welshman" – Mr. Bridge
Recitation – "Eugene Aram" – Mr. Moody
Reading – "Obituary Notices" – Mr. Flux
Song – "Marble Arch" – Mr. Hutchison

[Page 5]

Published according as
the weather permitted.

[Page 6]
Especial thanks are due to Captain Phillips for his kindness in furnishing the Latitude and Longitude for each day.

Also to Mr. Bate, the Chief Officer, for having the Thermometer readings of the sea water and atmosphere, as well as the Barometer pressures, taken daily solely for this paper. It is to be regretted that they were not recorded from the commencement of the voyage. The thermometer did not record above 88 ° or 90 ° Fahr. In the shade all through the tropics.

The "Zealandia", iron ship. 1165 tons. Built by C. Connel of Glasgow in 1869, Length 215 feet. Breadth 35.6 ins. And depth 20ft. 3ins. Southampton – Port of Registry
- Phillips – Master
R.W. Bate – Chief Officer

[Page 7]

On board ship where one meets, day after day the same people, the same dresses, the same sky and sea, and are confined within the same narrow walls of a floating township – one needs amusements. The political opinions, the theological proclivitities and the particular idiocyncracies of each individual is known; - the repertoire of each ones accomplishments is soon exhausted, and there very soon comes a time when new attractions are required.

This want was felt and supplied by the publication of a Newspaper entitled the "Look Out"; - but the editors determined to keep it select and not allow it to be circulated amongst the Steerage passengers or crew. This raised a feeling of resentment in the Saloon, and opinions were expressed condemning the action of the proprietors; but of course the editors had it all their own way and confined the paper to the First and Second Class passengers.

This brought out the "Free Press" as an opposition newspaper, ostensibly emanating from the Steerage with the result that the "Look-Out" died.

The rough weather and the inconveniences of "board-ship" life, together with the scarcity of paper, prevented so regular a publication as the editors could have wished; and its enervating influences must be borne in mind and excuse the deficiencies of manner, matter and execution.

J.R. GUNN Editor
W. Welch – Sub-Editor & Printer

[Page 8]
No. 1 May 5 1884

Editorial address.

Whenever anything is undertaken professedly in the interest of the Public the originators and promoters of the undertaking should be prepared to show three things:-

1st. That some such undertaking, if well conducted, is required and will benefit Society;
2nd. That the form or method they have adopted for that desirable end is the best, or one of the best, attainable under present circumstances: and –
3rd. That the promoters are competent to discharge the duties they thus impose upon themselves.

As to the first of these questions we think it will be admitted by all that the grand monotony of a sea voyage, such as this, would not only be relieved by treating the mind occasionally to some other intellectual food, but also that the mind itself is purified and better prepared for the reception of deeper and more permanent impressions of the grandeur, - and, to us, - the novelty of the voyage. We are persuaded that the continuous and exclusive contemplation of the vast expanse of sea, sky and sun that surround us would soon tire the reflective and perceptive faculties: - the mind would thus be capable of only passively admiring a scene upon which it ought to reflect and try to understand and enjoy.

Perhaps there is nothing in all Nature which can so readily reduce the mind to a state of reverie as the Ocean. The music and majesty of its eternal motion with its apparent boundless extent are so awe inspiring as to lull the reflective faculties to inaction and quieten the Divine or Immortal to simple and passive ador-

[Page 9]
ation. In other words, the mortal part of our nature is lulled into temporary oblivion, while the spiritual or immortal part is awakened to exercise its own natural function, which is to see the sublime in everything and adore it without reflection.

But as our reasoning faculties are our tools and stock-in-trade under the present Dispensation, the total or partial suspension of them renders us less useful to society and less adapted to the present order of things. Hence we should guard against falling too often into reveries or absent-mindedness. Nothing better tends to prevent this than the calm thoughtful discussion on literary subjects.

In case some might think it soaring presumption on the part of such obscure and plebian fellows as ourselves to attempt to conduct a journal, we are obliged to defend our position at great length.

Our position has been forced upon us by events. We had no choice left us between either, passing our time away lazily and unimproved till at the end of our long voyage we should not possess one single pleasant recollection of it: - or to act as we do.

We waited patiently to see if anything of an impartial character should emanate from that quarter to which, from the social position and other advantages of its inhabitants, we naturally looked for that guidance and honourable condescension which so well becomes the English Gentleman to shew towards the socially less favourably placed

We waited long and in vain!

About ten days ago "Brown" whispered to us that a paper was about to be started for the whole ship, without any invidious distinction of sex or class. Delighted we waited with a hope and patience that deserved a better realization.

In our suspense we sought out "Brown" but "Brown" was obdurate and would not relieve our anxiety by one syllable. At length the joyful tidings reached us – through the medium of "Brown" of course. – that the Infant Journal had appeared and was seen by "Brown". We then poor confiding mortals, at once rejected our former hastily drawn conclusions, for we had not the faintest suspicion but than when our betters would see, kiss, and ascertain the exact resemblance between this infant – No 1 "Look-Out" – and its Editorial "Dad", they would then drink to its success and kindly forward it on to us that we might also behold its cherub cheeks, - though we dared not kiss them (we being formed of rougher clay.) – nor on them trace the paternal lineaments, (the parentage being un-

[Page 10]
known to us.) – still we might be permitted to bless and love it at a distance.

Again we were doomed to disappointment!

Days passed! The Infant was developing in size and lungs, but we were not charmed or terrified by its baby efforts.

Again we sought "Brown" for consoling information:- but this time he would know nothing. We always suspect "Brown" when he elects to know nothing, for we believe that he always knows everything, and a great deal more; but as he follows an undeviating law experts can extract the truth and determine the bearings of affairs with accuracy.

At last "Brown" was very explicit and informed us that the baby "Look-Out" was committed to the charge of a nurse who was strictly forbidden, on pains and penalties somewhat analogous to those enjoined on Mother Eve in Eden, not to pass the main-mast as long as this precious Baby remained under her charge, for Fear contact with roughs of another species might vitiate its future greatness. It turned out that this strict injunction was unnecessary, for the nurse did, as nurses generally do, fall deeply in love with their nurslings of noble descent. She "grappled the Baby to her heart with hooks of steel" and would not part with it night or Day.

But the nurse is a woman, and therefore inherits the Frailties, as well as the Virtues, of Mother Eve – the latter we verily believe predominates.

One morning the nurse came out with the Baby concealed somewhere about her person. It was a pleasant sight to see her with arms folded fixing her gaze on the main-mast-top the limit of her Eden. Virtue, alarmed, warned her that another inch in the direction of the main hatch would be transgression. – Ambition and curiosity, Eve’s heritages to her fairest daughters, whispered to the nurse how grand it was to have been elected nurse to this Babe! What importance it would attach to her as the distinguished guardian of so great a trust!

Virtue waved her wand in the direction of the poop! The Frailties tugged furiously towards the main-mast. The inscrutable "Brown" marshalled his hosts on the side of the "Frailties!"

Virtue would have maintained her integrity against these fearful odds did she not choose to fight on the very verge of her territory: and even then she might have succeeded did not the Baby itself

[Page 11]
in a fit of naughtiness, expose itself to the eye of "Brown".
Virtue shrieked !!
The Frailties pulled!!
Virtue, though she kept her honour unsullied, lost the battle!!
The Baby dropped; a gust of wind drove it into the studio of our Artist who photographed it and sent a copy to us; - and we promise, in return for this act of friendliness, to give our readers a leading article in our next issue under the heading "The Look-Out’ on Babies".

A man with very large feet had a pair of boots that were much too large for him, "Why don’t you sell them?" a friend asked – "I had them half sold (soled) once", was the reply.

We are often told to "take care", but most of us have too much of it for our comfort already.

Why are two young ladies kissing one another the best emblem of Christianity?

Because they are doing to one another what they would like others to do unto them.

We purpose giving three hearty cheers for the gentleman who will write the best acrostic on he word "Woman"

The lines will appear in our next issue.

Can any of our readers enlighten us as to the cause of womens’ horror of rats? It is well known that the bravest and boldest of them will tremble and shriek at the approach of this little creature, - though it is not so injurious as cats and pugs that ladies prize so much.

Why this antagonism? Give an instance of a lady who could be induced to face a rat.

We have observed many tumbles through life, but have invariably noticed that it is the man who mounts the high horse who receives the least pity when he falls.

Envy is the most inexcusable of all passions. Every other sin has some other pleasure annexed to it, or will admit of an excuse; envy alone wants both. Other sins last but for a while; the appetite may be satisfied; anger remits; hatred has an end; but envy never ceases.

[Page 12]


No. 2 May 14 1884.

Our Tropical Baptism

Last Tuesday week we had our first and splendid tropical baptism. The day began in sunny stillness. The aspect of Nature would indicate nothing to the untrained eyes and noses of landspeople but a continuation of the same bright serenity which marked the previous days.

As we sat or reclined, listlessly, in some shady corner, sweltering in the almost still atmosphere, the sun nearing its meridian splendour, a deep low moan struck our ears. We looked, we listened, - What was it? It was the language of the angry elements growing deeper and louder as it bore rapidly down on our port bow, as if to take vengeance on our ship for disturbing the glassy tranquility of the ocean.

In an instant the sun was shrouded in a dense mass which seemed to connect the heavens with the ocean and fill half our horizon.

The orders soon passed from Officers to crew, and in a few minutes after the responsive "Ay, ay Sir!" all our jolly sailors "on watch" appeared clad cap-a pie in waterproof overalls and fell, with military precision, into their respective posts.

In a minute or two more and the "Zealandia" was stripped of a part of her loftier "muslin", and, like a warrior divested of his gaudier trappings, was better prepared to meet the opposing force. The breeze was strong; the sea rolled on in father-white waves, and the rain, oh, the rain! How shall we describe it? The smallest drop was a gallon, and there were three drops for every one in a heavy home shower. – They chased and ‘smashed"
ow shall we describe it? the smallest drop was a gallon, and there were three drops for every one in a haevy oHow

[Page 13]
one another in their [indecipherable] descent, were first caught in our sails and rigging, and from there discharged on our decks in the form of miniature mountain cataracts.

However our ship received the combined forces of wind, sea and rain with such equanimity as not to disturb the most timerous of our ladies at their toilets, or even the most fastidious of our gentlemen had he chanced to be putting himself through the process of shaving at the time.

The ship was dexterously handled, and though we cannot grasp the nautical manoeuvre, we can thoroughly appreciate its effect.

Having noticed this proof of the skill of our Officers, bravery of our seamen, and seaworthiness of our ship, - we pass on to a scene which, new as it was to us, viz: the behaviour of our passengers.

We feel it is a priveledge, as well as a duty, to testify on behalf of our ladies that they fully sustained the good character of the fair daughters of grand old England. They looked on for a moment and then bethought them that there was something to do. In a trice the deck was covered with every available vessel from a pork barrel to a "hook-tea-pot" for the purpose of collecting a supply of fresh water. Copper, fire, and servants were all alike dispensed with as they thus received their hot water direct from heaven’s own caldron and prepared to war with "duds" and dirt.

It was the work of a moment to get into their aprons and plunge to the very elbows into, what we must call, the wash tubs. The cleansing qualities of the new water and soap were sagely discussed as on they went chatting, rubbing, ringing and joking as though they were a congress of London charwomen washing for a wager. The maidens wore their most eloquent smiles, The matrons laughed and availing themselves of their matrimonial privilege, poked pleasant fun at husband and bachelor alike. The gentlemen as rigidly adhered to that sacred right claimed by every Englishman, that of looking and acting like a fool when he pleases. Off went coats, waistcoats, shoes and stockings, up went their pants to the knees, and then they bolted into their waterproofs. Our ship was

[Page 14]
now a floating lake of rain-water not quite up to simmering heat. The gentlemen waded through this lake, cooking their corns, looking odd and fantastic, saying and doing stupid things; now bespattering one another with copious buckets of water; then throwing one another down. It was the reign of unreason. It was a sin to do a wise thing.

The only thing which lent some gravity to a scene at once so charmingly romantic was a gentleman sitting in his cabin door, rubbing the heel of a sock at the rate of five strokes per minute and looking the very quintessence of bewildered amazement. He unconsciously dropped the sock into the basin and then mechanically felt the side of his cabin dor as if feeling for the bell handle for the purpose, as we supposed, to tell his servant to fetch him his senses. But we were mistaken, for the gentlemen in question thoroughly enjoyed the sight, and will, we hope, agree with us that it was a scene highly creditable to the fair portion of the performers, and not at all disparaging to the other portion.

But though we believe the scene was natural to the clime and circumstances, creditable to all the actors, and worthy of the brush of the greatest artist, yet had it been enacted at the homes we left a few weeks ago, most of the male performers would be suspected of lunatic proclivities. The conduct of some of them might secure them a charter of admission to Colney Hatch.

"One roar from Heaven’s artillery" brought us all to a silent stand-still – all was over! the curtain dropped!

(to be continued in our next)

[The article in the "look-Our" was stated by its Editor to have been written by Mark Twain.] Ed. Free Press

The Look-Out" on Babies.

In attempting to redeem the promise we made in our last issue in reference to this subject we freely admit that a confidential whisper from Brown induced us to depart from the line of treatment originally intended. We are still, as before, convinced that the Baby – or Babies – richly deserve a severe flogging; but on reflection we question if it is worth caning.

Brown hinted that we ought to be very careful as we did not know whose Baby we intended to flog. – (All right, Mr. Brown, but we can’t believe all you say; we are public servants and must do our duty faithfully)

Brown’s whisper aimed a nothing

[Page 15]
less than casting a doubt on the legitimacy of this Baby. We did not wonder at this as no one, we think, would be proud of such a Baby; nor could the slight, if true, blacken the character of one so profoundly steeped in naughtiness already. But what about the parents whose god fame is too often, alas! Compromised by the conduct of their children? Brown gravely suggested that ark Twain had a flirtation one evening "after dinner" when wine and women were the deities, and that the Baby now before us was the production of that flirtation.

We have seen some of Mark’s children and loved them much. We sighed and hastened to have another look at this woefully degenerate, would-be offspring of so great a Sire; but not a trace, not a particle of the great Mark did it possess. Everything about the naughty deformed thing proved conclusively its totally different origin. We have no option but to flog both the parent and the Babe, - the Babe for its own inherent wickedness, unredeemable by any trait of mind or person – the parent for the double sin of defaming the great Mark Twain, and then by cruelly and designedly adding to the other misfortunes of his child that of Bastardism.

We know that the fountains of a mother’s love are more tenderly and liberally opened for the deformed and the scapegrace in her family. They need the love which the rest of mankind deny them. But this Baby has no mother, and the father disowns him. Poor thing! – Would it not be a pity to cane him too unmercifully?

We beg to assure the conductors of the "Look-Out" that whatever strictures we have made, or in future, may make on any of their articles, Our observations arise, entirely, from unfeigned, feelings of respect. Our aim is to establish a genuine and friendly rivalship between the two papers, as we believe that that would make them more amusing and interesting to the great majority of our fellow passengers, while it would create in our minds feelings of mutual esteem somewhat akin to

"That stern joy which warriors feel
"At foemen worthy of their steel".

We purpose giving three hearty cheers to the Lady who will write the best Acrostic on the word "gentlemen". - We do pray our fair friends to favour us; they alone can put life and grace into our efforts at verse.

[Page 16]
We have much pleasure in inserting the following acrostics, but unfortunately several others have been omitted owing to want of space.

Was e’er a man so sorely tried,
Or worried till he almost died?
Made cunning by the girls who dare
A round him cast the fatal snare?
No never!

J. Scroggins

Who"er has found the peerless gem
Of worth and wealth a mine,
May well life’s torrents nobly stem
And live a life divine;
No care has he whose eares are thine!


Who loves thee most? "Tis he who knows thee best.
Of thee he sings, in thee alone he’s blest;
Meek and soothing when troubles wring the brow
A guide in doubt, strongest leader thou:
Nowhere wanting; O! sweet enchantress, how?


Our Smoking Concert

Our united thanks are specially due to Mr. England for his chivalry in starting, and untiring efforts in promoting these weekly treats.

Our first entertainment took place on Saturday the third instant, and proved quite a success, with Mr England in the chair.

We fully reciprocate our contemporary’s remarks that it would be invidious to criticise the performances individually. Still we feel that we should be guilty of suppressing a conspicuous fact, as well as neglecting a bounden duty were we not to record our grateful appreciation of the parts taken by the Ladies, Miss Seymour, the young lady whose name stood alone on the programme to relieve its sternly masculine character, recited the "Eve of Waterloo" with so much womanly grace, purity of style and depth of feeling as made her part highly creditable to herself and gratifying to the audience. Later on Mrs Mathews kindly came forward and in a clear mellow voice gave us a song, soft, and full of sentiment, which gradually drew our thoughts from the associations of war and the glories of Waterloo, by appealing directly to those tenderer and loftier emotions of the human heart which invariably undress and go to bed when comedy holds sway.

The National Anthem sung Mr. Fletcher proposed the Loyal Three Cheers. The whole audience stood with uncovered heads, and then, amidst the tropical stillness, bursts forth from the united lungs of the passengers and crew of the "Zealandia" the Loyal Three Cheers for Queen Victoria.

A similar tribute was proposed by the same gentleman and seconded in the same manner for Good Old England, in which our passengers, with already colonial instincts of economising time. – included our genial chairman.

[Page 17]
This notice was intended for our first issue but was crowded out. In our next we purpose saying a few words about the concert of last Monday.

A deal of curiosity has been displayed by the passengers on board as to who "Brown" may be. The Editor conveyed this fact to "Brown" who with his usual amiability agreed to come up from his unfathomable region and swim alongside at early morn whilst the artist of the "Zealandia" Free Press" took a water colour sketch.

Mr Brown laughs,
As the brine he quaffs,
At the tittle and tattle
Which gossips can rattle,
Or fancy create,
But wise people hate
And scout from off
The "Zealandia"

[cartoon sketch of man swimming]
How is the Prince of Wales like fifteen shillings? Because he wants but a crown to being a sovereign.


[cartoon sketch of man with long nose and dog sniffing it]
My dog he has his master’s nose,
To smell a knave through silken hose;
If friends or honest men go by,
"Welcome" quoth my dog and I

Of foreign tongues let scholars brag
With fifteen names for a pudding bag;
Two tongues I know ne’er told a lie
And their wearers be, my dog and I.!

From Kingsleys "Two Years ago"

As the saloon Steward was carrying several dishes to the galley one afternoon during the late gale he was cautioned by his senior officer to be careful and not to fall down.
"It would’nt hurt much" replied the garcon
"But you might break the dishes".
"Oh, no, I would’nt. The Captain told me that if I felt I was going to slip down to put the dishes on to the main to’gallan’ bulwarks and they would be quite safe.

Court News: Yesterday, the Queen, accompanied by Princess Beatrice walked out,
Ow is the Prince of Wales like fifteen shillings? Because he wants but a crown to being a sovereignHow

[Page 18]


No. 3 May 22. 1844.

Our Social Life.

Next to the sound physical and mental constitutions of the individuals constitutions of the individuals constituting society, comes the health sociable tone that pervades that society as a source of happiness to its individual members.

England, which stands pre-eminently, as yet, at the head of civilized nations, can trace the origin of her civilization – and more especially of what is most pure, pleasing and disinterested in the social life and domestic habits of her people – to the natural gifts and virtues of a few persons. Those few gifted individuals, who live in all ages and in all stages of social progress, would find some who could appreciate their worth and follow their example in the exercise of virtue, until the whole community would improve under their benign influence. Those who would not lend their active aid to the social reforms would find it more convenient and better policy to cease from openly opposing them.

Society thus adopts the character of a few great people as the moral guide and standard for the whole community, in their collective and individual capacities. Almost everyone knows the amazing influence that the Laws of Society and Fashion have over the people. – Unfortunately, very serious blemishes creep into Society and Fashion – these blemishes are not to be found in the codes or standards which regulate them, but in the flippant, frivolous tastes of the people who misconstrue them.

Our ship is a little English Republic, or rather Empire: - we prefer the word "Empire" for fear the word "Republic" might smell of treason to some of our hyper-loyal friends. -

[Page 19]
The Captain is our Autocrat, and every lady and gentleman, man and woman, passenger amongst us represents the character of some grade of English Society, as well as their own individual characters, and that of the particular profession or trade they follow.

The Captain and Officers of course represent the Queen and her Ministers.

We presume that there is not one amongst who claims to be a son or daughter of "a hundred earls"; but if there be any such and virtues adorn "the claims of long descent" we do them honour and homage; for to render honour where honour is due is part of our moral creed.

Rank and social position can only command our respectful homage in proportion as they reflect homage in proportion as they reflect social virtues and superior intelligence amongst us. If they do not so reflect, they are but frauds, base coins bearing the guinea stamp on a piece of tinselled brass instead of the gold to which alone, that stamp belongs.

Let us then look well to it that the great trust committed to our care will not suffer in our hands: - Let our married ladies prove worthy representative wives of "Merrie England";

Let our maiden ladies prove equally worthy of the thousand virtues and other accomplishments which adorn the virgin womanhood of their country, and endear that most interesting class to every man who has any right to be called a gentleman.

Our gentlemen, married and single, will readily see what parts fall to their lot and duty to play in our little Empire; - our young single gentlemen should aim at giving undoubted indications of future success by good and sensible conduct.

We do not want the fools and scapegraces, that at home, disturb good fellowship, amuse barmaids and ballet-girls and find employment for policemen: - and they are not wanted yonder.

We have much pleasure in again recording that in this respect also, our passengers aquit themselves well. It would be too much to expect that we could all fall at once into harmony and mutual confidence as if we had been brought up as members of the same Family.

We must not forget the fact that we are upwards of forty people of varied tastes, habits, pursuits and education,

[Page 20]
thrown together as absolute strangers to each other and confined for three months within very narrow limits, without the possibility of escaping. If, in such circumstances, some could not avoid judging unfavourable of others, it is most gratifying to see how completely these opinions are rejected and forgiven, and a spirit of genuine and familiar friendship gradually prevailing in their stead which promises to make the voyage in the "Zealandia" by no means the least interesting one between Darker and "Brighter Britain".

Our Tropical Bapism

Those who have done us the honour to read the observations we made in our last issue on this subject, will recollect that when the "curtain dropped" we left all the actors behind it standing erect, motionless and silent under the spell of a thunderclap and a flash of lightning. The smile, the laugh, the joke and the rapid grotesque movements which, but for a moment before made the whole company look as merry and healthy as if none of them had ever known a care or want, now vanished with the proverbial quickness of the fiery element which brought about the change, and were followed as quickly by the still silent solemnity just mentioned.

It would be a pleasing task to exercise the imagination in fancying the variety of thought and feeling suggested to the variety of mind by this splendid scene; - but alas! Our own imagination is not fertile enough, and our space is too limited, so we will leave the theme to those who have greater command of both, and content ourselves by drawing a few inferences from observed facts.

We have already recorded our emphatic admiration of how the ladies conducted themselves in the Face of an event so sudden and entirely new to them, and so often attended with dangers.

We doubt not but there may be some who would try to attribute their apparent indifference to danger and novelty to want of power to realize them, but we feel convinced that a greater injustice could scarce be imagined. It was a convincing proof, to all fair minded people, of Woman’s superiority, in this respect, at least.

[Page 21]
to man. How willingly and readily they all adapted themselves to this strange state of things, and imparted a happy English home complexion to the whole proceedings throughout, is surely greater proof of fertility than barrenness of mind:- To us it proves the possession of high qualities.

We expected a regular thunder storm, but no more this time. – The heavens turned off the tap of its reservoirs. The rain ceased and the wind fell. The sun burst out in the full strength of his mid-day glory. – All was over in an instant. The "Zealandia" was gradually relapsing into her former slow pace and sluggish motion, and the passengers soon found tongue to express their admiration for the business habits of tropical storms. They come without threats or warnings – to the uninitiated, - do a tremendous lot in a short time, and leave us without apologies.

We now hope that when each one of us turns his or her thoughts from the world without to the wider one within, each one will find it tenanted with new ideas and new fancies which can never fail to refine and elevate all our thoughts and conceptions of the scenes we have already seen and those yet in store for us.

Our sea-faring friends, and some landsmen, may laugh at the fuss we make about this Tropical Baptism. – We pity the sailor whose familiarity with the finest sights in Nature has blinded his power to realize them. As for the landsman who laughs, we pity him more, for he has not yet received his sight.

Land ho!!

The voyage so far has been singularly fortunate. On the 17th ult we set sail in the Downs, bade a long farewell to our native country, and cleared the Lizzard on the following Friday evening.

From the starting point till now, in the 20th degree south latitude, we never started a top-gallant sail – a fact, which if every equalled, has certainly never been surpassed in the experience of our Captain or oldest seaman. This good fortune, - along with the urbanity and kindly disposition of our Captain, Officers and Crew, have greatly enhanced the pleasures, and toned down the hardships, of the voyage. So far then our journey is a splendid

[Page 22]
sea-trip wanting nothing in weather, nor even in the mental pleasures we could expect, except the magic hand of land to relieve the eye and lend variety to celestial and ocean scenery – O Land! Where are thou? Our appetites for the delicacies of the table are growing keener and stronger – but the desire of some of us to behold thee is stronger still. Hope - that never failing comforter of the human heart – could promise nothing in that direction for weeks to come, and was never more silent on that score than it was on Tuesday forenoon, when our Captain, on the poop, was observed scanning the horizon in a south-east direction with his glass. What was he looking for? A ship? The Sea-serpent or a cloud? Anything he likes or anything at all, but Land, which no one dreamed of. _

At last he laid aside his glass came down chalk in hand and wrote under the break of the poop the words "Land in Sight". "Land in sight! echoed from every mouth as they bounded up, upsetting chairs, throwing aside knitting, sewing books and whatever else they had at the time as if they never intended to take them up again. The ladies forgot their stately gait, and the gentlemen forgot the ladies in the general scramble as to who would first see this wonderful land.

No sooner did each one fix on a point of sufficient elevation than pleasure, curiosity and impatience strove for, & in turns, maintained the mastery over his or her countenance; for at first the land was but dimly discernable to the naked eye, and most of the glasses aimed at it could not improve matters much. Land it might be, and Land it must be, since the Captain says so, but cloud it looks nevertheless. This was the state of things on the poop.

Come with us for a moment to the Sailors’ Poop. There be some here who hold extravagant opinions on the "Land Question", and express them too, but no one listens to them now.

A small group of men are gathered round the Capstan, and in the midst of it stands a young man speaking vehemently and jotting down something on, what our reporter irreverently thought, was the fly-leaf of a prayer-book. O! the betting proclivities of our countrymen at this season. It was a little "Derby". The young man was not preaching, he was only taking down his own bets and offering to give odds to one and all on the field that it was not land at all but a cloud. Some took the odds offered, but whether in Bass or Guineas we have not heard.opwHo

[Page 23]
The interest in the land continued but we are not sure that anyone packed up their boxes to go ashore.

By this time the towering outlines of Trinidad looking down upon us from the S.E. was growing more and more distinct as it veered to east, until at last we had a very fine view of it. But we will not, at present attempt to describe its appearance as one or two of our artists are busy taking water colour sketches of it for the next Fine Art Exhibition; and we are afraid that our feeble pen-and-ink sketch might clash with the lofty verities of the painter’s brush. We will then attempt a few historical facts regarding it.

The Island of Trinidad is placed by the recognised authorities in Lat. 22 ° - 29’-30" S, and Long 29 °-10 W. It is about six miles in circumference extending nearly S.E. and N.W. It is very high and uneven and just discernible from a ship’s poop in clear weather, at a distance of 18 leagues. In spite of its high, rocky, and generally barren character trees of from 12 to 18 ins, dia; grown in some parts; the shore itself is extremely rugged and difficult of access. On the west side there is a rock 850 feet high called the Monument; but the wonder of the Island is a grand bluff rock about 800 ft. high through which runs a stupendous passage 50 Ft. high. 40 ft. broad and 420 ft. long. The sea is over 18 ft. deep in this passage and rushes through it with a terrific noise. When seen from a distance of three or four miles the effect is very fine.

There is another rock in the south-east of the Island 1160 ft high called the Sugar Loaf: - this, as well as the Monument is covered with trees and scrub. Whenever it rains heavily a beautiful waterfall projects from the summit and descends to the bottom in one unbroken column of white foam.

Though the Island is known to supply abundance of water at most periods, yet at others it is very limited, if not dried up altogether. Perhaps on this account; but more especially owing to the extremely inaccessible character of the coast; and the strong and fitful temperament of the trade-winds around it, ships are recommended not to attempt to and except in cases of great necessity. The "Rattlesnake" was wrecked here in a westerly gale, while the "Jupiter" and "Mercury" narrowly escaped destruction.

Traditions of seafaring life inform us that Trinidad was once a famous resort of Buccaneers and other Pirates who infested these seas; afterwards it was made a penal settlement by the Gov-

[Page 24]
-ernment of Brazil. Civilization and commerce drove the daring Buccaneer from the seas, and even from their fortress of Trinidad, and let us hope that it was the same forces, aided by humane feeling, that found a more suitable asylum for the criminals of Brazil.

Finally, we have it from the same source,that the benign hand of Civilized Industry tried to lay this rugged inhabitant of the tropic seas under tribute. These pioneers braved the difficulties of the new settlement well, and had some hopes of success until their families grew and the young ladies found that the Island did not produce sufficient materials for making husbands and dress. Industry herself had to yield to these fair grumblers, and the Settlers left, bag and baggage, for another market. And now Trinidad, once more free, stands in its majestic loneliness in the middle Ocean unsullied by crime and unblessed by industry

We regret to have to state that we are not able to insert the Acrostics on the word "Gentlemen", this week

We hope our lady friends will pardon us.

[Cartoon titled "The Dream of Fame Reversed]
We also beg to inform our contributors that we will not insert anything reflecting unfavourably on the private characters of individuals, unless of such character is found to be injurious to others. We will try to reach the faults of the individual by exposing faults in general.

The Mission of the Dude.

"Say, Bill, where d’ye git them long cigars
"Outside the ‘Criterion’. When a dude buys a fust-class cigar, he takes about two puffs, gits sick and throws it away, an’ I lays fur it; bet cher life dudes was’nt created fur nuthin’".

Texas Paper

Four things are greviously empty:-
A head without brains; a wit with out judgment, a heart without honesty, and a purse without money.

Bishop Earle

[Page 25]

[Page 26]

[Page 27]


No. 4 May 29 1884.

[Drawing of two men mourning the death of the "look-out"

[Page 28]
Death of the "Look-Out"

The famed "Look-Our" is stiff and dead;.
And Death, ashamed, now hangs his head;
So great a power from us remov’d,
He stands, abash’d and self-reprov’d

Yes, the "Look-Out is dead and it becomes our painful duty to announce the melancholy fact to the Public who we are sure, will share our feelings of deep sorrow and regret at the sudden & unexpected event. The only soothing reflection that our mournful Empire can now indulge in is, that all that medical skill, tender nurture, and home comforts could do were freely lavished on the deceased in life, and in their corresponding expressions, followed him in death. – A youth of high lineage and great promise can, at all times & almost in all circumstances, command the lion’s share of love and comforts, while the youth of meaner origin receives but scant encouragement in his battles against the disadvantages of birth, education and habitation.

But though the "Look-Out" was surrounded by everything that could comfort the body and elevate the mind he was subject to the infirmities and troubles that beset ordinary beings: hence his premature death. Oh! Ill starred babe, why born divine but not immortal? Why was not the divinity of thy nature enclosed in a case that death could not penetrate; that you might, like a second "Zanoni" be connecting link between the world of spirits and this the world of mortals, revealing the secrets of bygone ages and the mysteries of the unknown regions, with a masterly simplicity that could be fascinating and intelligible to all? Alas! Why? – But let us descend from this poetic flight. The "Look-Out" was mortal, decidedly mortal, in physical constitution, and "Grim Death", with his usual preference for what is loved and loveable laid his withering hand upon him and snatched him from among us. The personal worth of the departed, and the sorrows of the bereaved can be estimated by the fact that this is the first time the King of Terrors is known to have repented the disasterous effects of his own unsatiable appetite.

We had once or twice a hint that the deceased was not well, and we owe it to the bereaved to state that we could not convince ourselves that it was anything more serious than an attack of "pet"; a desease to which children, even of the highest orders, are subject, and for which no doctor has yet found a perfect cure. We are sorry that we were mistaken, but retract every particle of what may seem discourteous in the mistake itself. We could not avoid receiving the news with some sort of doubt as there were no

[Page 29]
bulletins issued stating the nature and progress of the malady. The child, too, was in robust health, the very embodiment of fame when we last saw him. We, also, have had many severe attacks of "pet" during our own lives, and we do not know how soon it may fall to our lot to go through the same excruciating ordeal again. We fought against and overcame them, and expected our noble patient would do the same. Our sympathies were unreservedly with him; but we never dreamed of the sad event we now chronide. Indeed the "Look-Out" was dead and embalmed before the facts were formally communicated to our reporter, and even now we cannot vouch that the place of his final repose is decided upon. That some sunny spot in "Brighter Britain" will be selected for the honour we doubt not; and that a temple will be erected there on which figures will be inscribed representing the form and virtues of the deceased, and the loves and hopes that attended him in life, and were blasted in his death is also a fact.

It will be a magnificent affair:- meanwhile let us mourn with the mourners.


On Monday, thanks to our Captain, our talented friends and the weather, we had our third Smoking Concert, which was, if anything, a greater success than either of the two previous ones. The programme was opened by Mr. Fletcher who gave in a spirited manner an old English song written in 1667 on the restoration of Charles II entitled "Here’s a Health to His Majestie". Our space would not allow us to enumerate the whole of the 20 events, but we must not omit our cordial thanks to the ladies who performed their parts in such a satisfactory manner; Mrs Welch read from Ingoldsby "The Knight and The Lady" with a clearness of enunciation and simplicity of style that made her performance peculiarly attractive and pleasing to the audience; while Mrs Mathews sang that fine old ballad "Then you’ll Remember Me" in a way that touched the tenderest chords of our hearts. The readings were both instructive and amusing; those by Mr. England were well rendered in his best style and which we have already noticed in a former issue; and that by Mr. Flux, on the Poetical Obituary Notices Newspaper, of an American Newspaper, deserve our special praise. But the gem of the evening was a nigger Stump Speech by Mr. Rae, in character, on that important question "What am Woman?"; he was so vociferously encored that he returned and gave a song which literally convulsed

[Page 30]
he audience with laughter as much as the Stump Speech had done.

Let us hope that we shall have many more such entertainments.

for week ending 28th May.

Noon and Midnight weather reports

The Latitude and Longitude are from Noon to Noon.
22nd. Last 24.45 S. Long 26.20 W. 224 miles
Noon. Strong breeze and cloudy with thick rain.
Midt. Squally weather with thick rain
23rd. Lat 26.56. S. Long 23.44 W. 188 miles.
N. Fresh breeze and unsettled weather.
M. Moderate breeze and clear.
24th. Lat. 28.7.S. Long 21.9 W. 150 miles.
N. Fine weather
M. Calm.
25th. Lat 28-6 S. Long 19.29 W. 90 miles
N. Light airs and calm weather
M. Light airs and variable
26th. Lat. 28.45. S Long 18.26 W. 50 miles
N. Calm M Calm.
27th. Lat 29.26.45. S . Long 17.40 W. 70 miles.
N. Light airs and calm
M. Light airs and calm,.
28th Lat 30.23. S. Long 16.15 W. 92 miles
N. Fair and pleasant with freshing breeze.
M. Fresh breeze.
29th Barometer 30.33 ins. And still rising
Thermometer. Noon 73 ° Fahr.

We have only received one acrostic on the word "Gentleman".
Great Master soaring on thy fancied wings,
Ever lording o’er all created things;
None other dares they mighty sway dispute,
Thy hosts, thy matchless arts who can compute?
Lord of all, thy empire we all must own!
Enough then, though to me thou art unknown;-
Methinks I met thee once or twice by chance:-
A dream I had of thee, and then Romance
Nursed and lent thee those charms that maids entrance.


Local Topics

We are pleased to announce that our fellow passenger Mrs. Clark, is progressing favourably towards recovery from the serious illness with which she was seized last week, - and there is every reason to hope that we shall see her again among us, - thanks to the kindness of our Captain and all the ladies who readily rendered their kind attentions.

Also, that Mr. Rae has entirely recovered from his indisposition, brought about, we think, by dreams of his mother’s pantry.

"No sir, my daughter can never be yours".
"I don’t want her to be my daughter|!" broke in the young ardent, "want her to be my wife".

American Paper

[Page 31]


No. 5 June 5. 1884.

Bachelor Life in the Steerage.

The following episode in Steerage Bachelor life may afford some slight amusement to, at least, a few of our friends, though some of them may be disappointed at the commonplace tameness with which we treat a subject so full of novelty and fun. We beg to assure one and all that if we were not restrained, by fear of giving offence, from stating the facts more in detail and with such romantic colouring as the parts played by the different actors would legitimately allow our article would be much more amuseing and equally true to facts.

Our heading does not fully express the sense we wish to convey, so let us explain that there are nine "statute adults" squeezed into one compartment of less cubic contents than the bedroom formerly occupied by one of them at home. This compartment, gutted and

[drawing of bunks in steerage]
stripped of all its furniture and fixtures will measure, internally, a few inches over 894 cubic feet. But it must be borne in mind that in this space the nine statute adults have their beds, bedding, the greater part of their personal effects with a heterogenous collection of articles for household use.

When to the solid contents of these articles we add the contents of the nine adults themselves we have but little space left for the accommodation of bugs, cockroaches and fresh air. How in such circumstances the operations of cooking and

[drawing of man cleaning the floor]

[Page 32]
cleaning and dressing are carried on we will not at present attempt to describe.

We would then ask our friends to think over carefully upon what life must be under such conditions, and upon the relative significance of the words "comfort" and "accommodation" when applied to life at sea and life on land. The nine adults have nothing to do, no room to play, and but little of what is palatable to eat; and should one of them murmur he is met by that clever man who uses that crushing argument, "This is life at sea, and you must put up with it." This might be a good argument if the adults had divested themselves of all their land education, habits, and tastes the moment they put foot on board ship. But this they forgot to do, and we believe that some of them would find it easier to master the science of navigation and conduct an expedition to the North Pole than to accommodate themselves to steerage life and steerage fare. They endure it patiently and bravely. They believe they get what they pay for, and that it is noble not to grumble.

With all these disadvantages however never did nine men agree and differ better. There is a romance in their difference and a charm in their concord that are quite unknown and unintelligible to those who float in the whirlpools of external etiquette.

Never was the will of the majority more absolute or more implicitly obeyed than here, and never has individual liberty been more free from restraint. If any one of the nine should announce that he will have porridge for breakfast or dinner no one of the remaining eight would ever dream of denying the right of any or all of them to denounce this man of porridge as a most arrogant scamp and his porridge as the vilest dish that he could name. But the man of porridge would only laugh at this and then ask the loudest of his opponents to fetch the meal and water to the cook and get "porridge for one". He then waits reply. A few glances are exchanged and then a hearty laugh from the whole eight indicate that they all have agreed that the man may have as much porridge as he likes, and that any one of them is prepared to serve him with it. "How much will you have, my Tulip, a bushel, a gallon, or a pint?" Say the word.
This is the manner in which proposals are received and settled by the nine adults. With them no strife can last. They live in peace and peace of mind. Every monotony palls on the senses and the mind craves for

[Page 33]
some agreeable change.

The other day we had a lively termination to what threatened to be a very oppressive night. The preceding day was calm, sultry and dull, and the spirits of the adults wee by no means as buoyant as usual. The best portions of their stores were exhausted and discontent had settled on every brow. In this mood they sate down to breakfast and sure enough it was a study to watch the wry faces they made as they washed down mouthful after mouthful of hard dry biscuits with coffee that had no sugar or milk in it.

The meal over, the right Reverend the Bishop of New Plymouth, having worked himself into a most imposing attidude, grasped the table by both hands about four feet apart, levelled his benign profile to the chief steward of the mess and drew his line of vision at right angles from the Steward’s full face to his own cheek and then, in grave and dignified tones proceeded to address the Bachelors as follows:- "What are we to have for dinner to-day?"
[Drawing of man looking at food on the table]
To this momentous question – the question that agitated the heart of a whole empire – the Steward promptly replied "Missing Friend and Hard Tack". The Bishop blushed. – We won’t say that he coloured, - and uttered some words our reporter could not catch. Slade brindled up and expressed his opinion of "Missing Friend and Hard Tack" most emphatically, but unfortunately many of his choice expressions did not reach the reporter’s gallery. Others followed in the same strain, all of them interlarding their speeches with a profusion of expletives that was quite unintelligible to the gentlemen of the press.

Then followed a general inventory of stores in stock, all bags & dishes were examined, found empty, and were addressed, in terms suitable to their emptiness. This done, seven of the adults retired, crestfallen, to seek consolation in chatting of their "Totties" and their homes.

The wily steward had privately stowed away in some secret hole – and it must have been a secret hole when it escaped the eyes and noses of some of the searchers – sufficient food to make dinner for the whole of the mess.

The Steerage Kettle sounded – longer and louder than usual as

[Page 34]
if greater energy wee now required to muster the diners. But even the sonorous tones of this most recent acquisition to the dignity of the Bachelors were now disregarded, for it summoned to "hard tack". The indignant Stewards doubled their efforts, threw a few additional knives and forks into the empty water can already on duty, and charged another with a quantity of nails, and then rattled away with might ad main, one at each door. Finding this also disregarded the second Steward was obliged to watch the cooking dinner while the chief went in search of the rebels.

"Why" asks the Chief "don’t you answer the bell, you fools? I have prepared a four-coursed dinner for you and now its nearly cold, and won’t be so nice; and this is the way you thank me for foraging and cooking".

This speech was received by the audience as a wanton outrage of feelings already too much wounded by the thoughts of dining off Missing Friends Steerage Biscuit", and a stranger who would take threats in their literal sense would tremble for the safety of the Chief Steward
[to be continued]
Our friends must pardon the delay in the publication of this number, and ascribe it to the storm


[Not transcribed}

[Page 35]


No 6 June 12. 1884.

Our First Storm.

As our voyage advances it increases in interest and variety. In the short space of eight weeks we have passed through an English Spring, the tropic summer, until now we are well into, what we may term, the Southern Winter. This rapid transission through so many different climes and seasons cannot fail to be interesting. It acts upon the mind and body simultaneously and improves both. It turns the long journey, so often spoken of as one dreary monotony from beginning to end, into an ever changing and ever varying scene: deprives it of the very idea of barrenness and infuses much of what is grand and pleasurable into its discomforts and dangers.

A Storm that had been that had been growing and blowing from the sou’west for several days previously culminated on Friday evening the sixth instant. The heavy seas that washed our decks and the surging motion of the ship confined nearly all of us to our respective quarters. The few who did venture out ran a very serious risk of being washed overboard or smashed along the deck. About six o’clock in the evening, as the rays of the recently risen moon were lighting the lowering sky and making the fury of the gale visible as well as felt, a heavy sea struck us amidships and carried away one of the deck houses together with the poop ladder with it heavy iron stanchions. Another sea burst on to our deck immediately afterwards, dashed in and completely carried away the Starboard Saloon door as though it wee made of pasteboard and glued to it posts. The water rushed in and filled some of the berths to within a foot or two of the roof. The Port Saloon entrance – on the lee side was open, and a lady who had

[Page 36]
just made her way to it, at that time, to enquire after a sick person, was carried off her feet and thrown along the passage. The Chief Steward rushed to the rescue and helped her into the Saloon, and now we are happy to state that she is none the worse for the immersion.

The Under Steward was not, we regret to say so fortunate. – He was caught outside, dashed against the bulwarks, and as he was in the act of crawling in, the door slammed on his hands and severely bruised them.

There was no personal injury done to any of the Saloon passengers, but the beds, bed-clothes and boxes with contents, were soaked in water. The damage and discomfort arising from this are too plain to require any comment from us. Wet bedclothes to sleep in, - wet clothes to put on, - and wet cabins to sit in, are things that speak for themselves. The doorway had to be nailed over with boards and well stayed inside as a temporary measure.

We found it our duty on more than one occasion, already, to record the admirable conduct of our fellow passengers under somewhat trying circumstances; but on this occasion they have surpassed even their former better selves. When the water rushed in upon them as they sat at their tables or in their cabins and threatened to fill and smash their berths, what would be more natural than that the ladies should scream and the gentlemen tremble as terror would suggest that this was but the precurson of another and mightier sea that was coming to sweep their cabins and themselves away? Had they been sitting in a cabin and observed a [indecipherable] or two marching towards them the ladies would certainly scream. But see them now so calm and self possessed; their pale faces only give expression to their deep, but subdued alarm. How is this? It must be that there is a grandeur & sublimity in a storm at sea that takes the sting and cowardliness entirely away from the terror it produces on the mind of the beholder.


This was the cry repeated by one of the sailors as he rushed half dressed from the fore-castle towards the poop about 9 a.m. on Sunday the 8th instant. There were only a few of the passengers on deck at the time, most being in their cabins.

The thrilling cry, again and again repeated brought all sailors and passengers out. "Who is it"? "Who is it?" was the anxious query that first passed

[Page 37]
from mouth to mouth. But why ask the question? It is enough to know that one of our number is now fluttering in the jaws of death! And that the time is but short indeed until he must fall a prey to some birds, fish, cramp or cold, even if he could keep himself afloat.

To the rescue then! But how? For though the wind has greatly fallen a heavy "cross sea" still runs and the sea presents an extremely dreary, frowning aspect. Again and again the question is revived "Who is it"?

When it becomes known that it is Mr. Gallwey, the senior apprentice, the interest becomes felt in his fate is acutely tender, for the vivacious youngster was deservedly a universal favourite with passengers and crew. How gratifying to know, and how creditable to human nature to see, how quickly the tender sympathies were wafted on the wings of thought from the drowning lad to the unconscious mother.

All this was but the work of a few moments. The lad was in the act of going aloft the foremast when he fell off the bulwarks. The Captain was ascending the steps and the Chief Officer pacing the poop when the cry was raised. – The Chief officer turned, caught sight of the fast receding man in the water. – A few bounds and he clutched the lifebuoy and took aim as if throwing a quoit with such accuracy as to nearly put a ring on the floating head. But the sea heaved the sea one way and the buoy another until a wide distance divided them. However the youth struck out bravely for the buoy and every beholder heaved a sigh of relief when he was seen putting his head through it. The tears that despair formed in some eyes were dried up in the hope thus afforded that the lad would be saved.

All hands mustered in a wonderfully short time. The Captain firmly gave his orders which were as promptly obeyed. The ship is soon "hove to". Mr Bates the Chief Officer, with five stalwart seamen entered the life boat, which in a minute or two was lowered without a vestige of delay or confusion. They bend to their oars with a will which inspired us all with confidence that everything that six brave and skilful men could do would be done to rescue the drowning youth who was now far beyond the sight of the best glasses directed from our ship. The Captain with his glass watched the course and movements of the boat from the mizen rigging. Every one watched. At last we could only get an occasional glimpse of it upon the crest of a wave. – Minutes seemed hours. – It was a time of painful suspense – The power of speech ow gratifying to know, and how creditable to human nature to see, how quickly the tender sympathies were a

[Page 38]
forsook us as the tenderest hopes and wishes struggled against the demons of agony and despair. – "Hark! See! The boat is coming back!" Eyes and glasses are strained. – "They’ve got him." No, no, they have got the buoy but not the life, - oh lifeless life buoy! Why and how hast thou parted with thy charge?" These were the thoughts that fear suggested, to some minds at least; when the Captain descended and said "All right, they’ve got him" The thrill of joy these words produced in every mind could only be caricatured by any attempt of ours to describe it. Those who felt it required no description.

The boat is fast approaching. The strong long stroke of the fine brave oarsmen indicate clearly that their only work is now to regain the ship’s side. Their skill takes all the appearance of labour from their rowing. Theirs was no spurt from Mortlake to Putney.

The boat is now alongside. Young Gallwey, pale and motionless leans on the Chief Officer. Three sailors attend with as many rope-ends which three of the sailors in the boat seize hold of and watch the heave of the sea. One bound and the three are on the bulwarks; another they are on deck. A fourth rope was wanted to land the rescued youth; and with all the gravity that the occasion inspired we could not help smiling at the unceremonious treatment the Chief Officer bestowed on a bottle of brandy that caught his eye jutting over the side instead of the looked-for rope: "Damn the Brandy! Give me the end of a rope!" – The bottle vanished in a twinkling. The Chief Officer got the rope a twist and a knot and young Gallwey was safe in the arms of his friends on deck & carried into the saloon, when Mr. England one of the passengers, generously placed his berth at his disposal until he got well. He met with every kind attention and fatherly admonition from the Captain; nor were the passengers behind in their kind offices.

The boat was soon secured in its former place, and we cannot, at present, fully express our admiration of the manner in which the whole proceedings were got through without a single hitch or even the smallest semblance of bustle or delay. It was hurry without confusion, Grand work without labour.

We trust that young Mr. Gallwey will live long to remember the sorrow that his perilous position, and the joy that his rescue, produced among the passengers and crew of the "Zealandia". Had it been his lot to perish it would afford some gratification to his mother to know that he was so keenly and tenderly regretted. We have mothers and motherly ladies among us strongly gifted with the best passions of their sex. All those passions followed her boy in danger and in thought, and welcomed him for her sake when he was restored to them.

[Page 39]


No. 7 June 19 1844

Bachelor life in the steerage.

But the stalwart Weymouth Blacksmith is not the man to run away from threats, so he stood his ground, pulled a serious fact, told the truth and in an instant the most sceptical of the Bachelors was his most admiring friend.

The Bishop who sat in melancholly silence on the forecastle during the delivery of the Steward’s first oration gradually worked his thoughts from the contemplation of a bad to that of a good, dinner during the delivery of the second and springing to his feet with an agility, which our reporter avers, shifted one of the anchors, anxiously enquired if there was " a dessert after the
fourth course, or if the four courses included the dessert?"

Mr Holyman laughed till he bursted his sou’wester. Everyone manifested his pleasure and gratitude in his own characteristic fashion, and then tripped after the Steward to dinner.

[Drawing of Mr Holyman and his sou’wester]
Now for the grand climax! Hitherto a shade of doubt mingled with Hope; but Hope is now turned into actual possession! Could anyone believe that the countenances so distorted four hours previous by the idea of "Hard Tack and Missing Friend" were the same bland and joyous faces that now sat round this narrow deal board? Talk of the calm that succeeds a storm. - As our pen traces these lines we look out on the majesty of an angry ocean and compare it with a gentle calm. – Talk of the beautiful tints that sunset casts over a tropical sky. -

[Page 40]
Talk of the maiden’s blush at the altar when giving away to Hymen the finest thing on earth. – All these cannot produce a parallel to the succession of smiles and blushes that chased each other on the reverend visage of New Plymouth when he got his intellect fully saturated with the idea of a good dinner, and his nostrils inhaling its kindly savour.

The human face is the sea of sudden storms and calms. Our readers must not think that our friend here referred to is a greater epicure than others. –
"Missing Friend and Hard Tack" compel him to develop a hobby in that direction. Such a man dines thrice.

Bed time comes the night is still calm and sultry. The skylight and two doors are thrown wide open and the bachelors crawl one after another on to their narrow bunks. The top tier of them

[Drawing of bunks and a man dressing]
lie with no other covering than their long night shirts, and they throw their hands and feet together so that in the maze of limbs thus formed not one of them could distinguish his own unless he pulled them. In this fashion, and with these two excellent bedmates – an easy conscience and a good digestion, the sleepers slept as soundly as if each, alone, reposed on a bed of down. – "Good night all;" and in a few minutes more, so far as the realities of life are concerned, all were steeped in oblivion in Morpheus sweet embrace. The bodies snore in the steerage of the "Zealandia", but the minds are wafted into the fairy land of dreams, there to feast on the pleasures best suited to the dreamer’s taste when awake. How truly kind Nature is to her children! But this happy existence was doomed to a sudden end.

About midnight the wind and sea rose. The ship rolled and off started water cans, plates, knives and forks etc. etc. in one of the wildest and merriest dances that we ever beheld. Three heavy boxes that were tied together struggled desperately for liberty, broke their fastenings and joined the light weights in the mad affray. – The smallest of the three contained the valuables of one of the Bachelors and up scrambles the nude proprietor to save it from destruction. But this was a dangerous adventure, for his exposed person was nearly pounded to death between the dancers, in this vain attempt to bring his box of valuables back again to captivity. He now decides to put his breeches on. But this also is a perplexing undertaking, yet it

[Page 41]
must be tried; so taking is pants between his teeth he helps himself on to the table by both his hands. After many failures he at last manages to shoot one of his feet into the wrong leg of his trousers, when a violent jerk of the ship throws him down again among the dancers. And oh, the undignified capers he cuts among them baffles description! He seems the liveliest dancer of the lot, holding for dear life, by both hands, the sides of his braccaclastics as he hops on the trousered limb and puts the nude one through a variety of flourishes between the roof and the floor, whilst the vacant leg of the reversed inexpressible flops wildly in all directions. The poor Bachelor thus converted into such a grotesque three-legged figure bounded and rebounded from the wooden wall to the bunks, cutting such ludicrous antics as to make our reporter dread that the figure would never be able to resume the bipedal form again.

The Bachelors recalled so hastily from their dreams could not, for a few seconds, realize what was up or where they were. The worthy Bishop, whose feelings must have been severely shocked at leaving an unfinished dinner in Warwick, was the first to grasp the situation. Unmoved he looked from his lair on the eccentric revolutions of the tripedal form of his mess-mate, then on the surging boxes and the flying tins. In all this there was nothing to ruffle his composure. But the sound of wind rushing through the skylight suggested to his mind that so strong a current night carry some of the lighter stores with it. This was enough. Up he got: stood erect, on tip-toe on his bed, with his head and shoulders through the skylight trying to close it. In this attidude, with his striped shirt flying in ribbons about his ears, our reporter left him,.

[Drawing of the Bishop in the skylight]
The behavior of the "Zealandia" on Thursday night and Friday morning last surpassed all our previous conceptions of rolling and lurching at sea. Hitherto, we confess, that we enjoyed the rocking for the sake of the fantastic movements of persons and things which accompanied it. The water cans and teapots dancing to their own music, as if they really enjoyed the exercise, was something few could witness without laughing. But the sudden, surging, savage swaying from side to side that our good ship indulg-

[Page 42]
ed in, on the night and morning in question, excited feelings of pain and fear, rather than mirth. It took the music and the appearance of volition entirely away from the can and teapot ball. Violent compulsion guided the motion of everything. Even the sailors sprawled and groped after the undignified fashion of "landlubbers". Most of the passengers retired to bed early, but not to sleep or rest but to shoot from side to side like a weavers’ shuttle.

In looking at himself in the glass on the following morning one gentleman was shocked to find that one of his ears was worked into a large red wart by this continuous friction. But on the other hand one gentleman was happily oblivious of all this turmoil and commotion. Happy man!

Meteoroligical report

[Not transcribed]

[Page 43]


No 8 July 10 1884.


He who can contrive to feel contented in circumstances calculated to make him miserable has indeed made good progress on the road to perfection.
To call his condition "contentment in misery" would be illogical as well as too strong an expression for the particular circumstances to which we now apply it, for none of us is contented with his lot, and none of us is in misery. We apply words loosely and say that we are perfectly miserable when we mean only that we are very uncomfortable and that we are content when we simply mean that we are thankful matters are not so bad with us as they might be, instead of as well as we would wish them to be.

We can all of us say, with truth, that we are thankful that our lot is not worse, but can anyone say, truly, that he or she is content with this state of existence?

If there be such a person among the passengers his organism unfits him for a life of useful activity, and his disposition unfits him for the higher and nobler pleasers to be found in the friendly fellowship of his kind.

Patience under difficulties is a virtue which all may practise. Dignified resignation in the face of crosses and disappointments which the sufferer could not avert and time alone could cure, is another and higher form of patience; but contentment with such a lot as our present one is outside the pale of the whole category of virtues.

He who doubts this let him carefully contrast the present situation with any other which as an honest, healthy and free man he had to enjoy or endure. Can he enjoy his time now? Or can he kill it in any fashion that can produce even that species of

[Page 44]
pleasure best known to those whose chief occupation is Time-"killing"! If time be the most precious commodity at our disposal a sensible person cannot feel contented when he is not able to turn it to some good account. It is better if the butchers of time when they possess the power to do good but employ it for evil should kill their time on something affecting themselves only rather than use it against the rights of others.

The Royal Maniac, too mad to do anything wise and too wicked to do anything good was less injuriously occupied at his time murdering amusements than he could be at stealing the liberties of his subjects.

But we do not kill time – not even after the fashion the cook killed the last sheep*. We are obliged to let our time die. Our regret for it only serves to incapacitate us for improving the few lucid hours the storms allow us.

Should we attempt to go over the past in Memory or the future in Hope our wretched condition, with the affinity of similar natures, drags our musings on to what is regretable in the former and rough and doubtful in the latter.

There is no contentment here!
We then try to recall the kind familiar forms who could talk of the pleasant past with us and inspire us with faith and energy for a brighter future. But also our liveliest fancy is sick! The wan images it creates soon vanish and leave us perhaps rocking in a cabin making all sorts of rapid motions from side to side, but not an inch ahead, or "reaching" or "hove-to".

The situation is well-nigh intolerable!

Each one is on uncomfortable terms with himself: - is easily drawn into similar relations with his neighbour. – The contagion spreads. – Some are hungry. All are either wet through or damp; and most are more or less angry. –
But hungry, angry and wet, the wind blows a gale or not at all, it matters not which; a heavy sea always runs, and the "Zealandia" heaves and ships water in both cases, and our temperaments keep time with the elements and the ship.

It is now we realize that we have indeed left home. – We ask ourselves who and why we left. – When we parted with our friends the very fulness of our mutual sorrow worked its own cure. The tearful eye, the kind look, the heavy sigh and the final, long-continued grasp with the fervent "God-bless you" are all so intensely and genuinely warm as to soothe away the pain in the gratification

* The animal died, and afterwards had its throat cut.

[Page 45]
one feels at finding that he is the subject of so much tender regard. The cynic and the selfish cans see nothing in this but a sort useless sentiment, yet such partings are such veritable treasuries of blessings. They bring to play the finest parts of human nature. They disclose friendship and affection in their most disinterested phases to an extent which we could not know existed before, and they refresh and refine the memories of after life. The impress of genuine affection can never be effaced:-

"For time but the impressions deeper make, "As streams their channels deeper wear".

This parting with friends and homes along with the novelty and excitement of the voyage fill our minds during the first part of our long journey. At the start we scarcely think of the discomforts and dangers we are likely to encounter. – All this excitement is over now. – We are heartily tired and crave for Land, for Freedom and for Society.

The partings have also passed into a matter of memory, where the leading characters in its scenes will, we trust, ever remain embalmed in all the perfections of form and feature that neither time nor distance can fade or wrinkle though the keenest fancy cannot infuse active life into them. The images themselves we can always recall as we last beheld them overflowing with the tenderest expressions of regard and regret.

"For still can recollection trace
"In fancy’s mirror ever near
"Each sigh, each tear, that form, that face
"Though lost to sight; to memory dear"

Let us hope that all of us have true and valued friends of whom we can always say this: - They are splendid companions: - there is nothing peevish or changeable in their society: - As we leave them to-day we will find them to-morrow: - They deceive or upbraid us not, for it is their better parts that follow us.

We cannot be content where circumstances preclude us from friendly intercourse with both the present and the absent: - We long for the land of our adoption, where we hope to find new friends, not in place of, but in addition to, those we left behind.

How to become strong.

"You told me, Arthur, that your doctor advised you to drink whiskey; has it done you any good?"

"Well I should say so; I got a barrel of it two weeks ago and I could hardly lift it, and now I can carry it about the room."

American Paper

[Page 46]
Meteorological Report

[Not transcribed]

[Transcribed by Robin Mathews for the State Library of New South Wales]